Monday, October 4, 2010

Godzilla 2: War of the Monsters (1992)

What do you want from a Godzilla game? You want to play as Godzilla and just tear shit up. Beat the shit out of monsters. Wreck shit. At least thats what I want from a goddamn Godzilla game, and thats what the original Godzilla game for the NES tried to do. Love it or hate it, it at least tried to give us what we wanted in a Godzilla game. This dumb piece of shit doesn't even try.

I should also admit before we start that I'm not a very big fan of Sim games, I can get some enjoyment out of Sim City by making a very bad town and laughing at how bad it is, but other than that they really aren't my kinda thing. Still even if I loved Sim games with all my heart, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't like this chunk of shit. Because it's a stupid broken game. For stupid jerks.

You get to pick six senarios, however I've only played the first senario where Godzilla and Baragon attack the city. In this game you have to defend the city from Godzilla. (yeah, the people really want to play as the goddamn army when they could be playing as a fucking giant radioactive lizard) and this is where the game gets really fucking terrible, the combat system is broken..

In combat, it's like one of those casino games for the NES or the bonus game in Super Mario Bros. 2 , where you have to link up three symbols, but the thing is, I've never linked up three, which causes me to end up dying. I don't think it's even possible to link up three symbols, and you have to so that you can do maximum damage, or even hit the monster. And the monsters regain health while you don't, making it even harder to enjoy this lump of shit.

If they fixed combat this game would be playable, sure the music sucks, but the graphics are decent for this type of game, and in combat all the monsters look like what they should. It's just the broken fucking combat system ruins the entire game for me. It's not fun. At all.

Also, one last little thing about this game, If wikipedia is to be believed this was originally going to be a Rodan game. Rodan has a special place in my heart because it was one of the first movies I rented from this totally awesome Mom and Pop video store I found as a teenager which had like seventy billion movies, lots of them I had wanted to see for years! So I guess I'm glad Toho didn't fuck Rodan over and I still have the memories. I loved that place!

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