Monday, August 16, 2010

Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde


If I could go back in time. I would probably beat Robert Louis Stevenson to death, before 1886, so that he does not write the novel Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Sure, we would lose that book which inspired a lot of people, a few awesome movies based off it. Those cool as hell Looney Toons shorts (the one where Bugs gets adopted by Dr. Jekyll, and the one where Tweety drinks Dr. Jekyll's potion and fucks up Sylvester's shit were awesome.) and the Marvel Comics character Mr. Hyde. I'd be willing to give up all that stuff so that Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde for the NES did not exist, and I'm sure Robert Louis Stevenson would agree with me.

I guess I will start off this review with the positives aspects of this game, as much as I hate to be positive about this terrible, horrible atrocious, ugly, awful and just plain bad game. I will admit that the graphics for this game are okay. Not great, but not awful. Still graphics are the least important aspect of a video game to me, and the graphics are sadly, this games high point, AND THEY ARE JUST OKAY.

I'd rather not talk about the sound, but I have too. The sound is so fucking repeative, the sound in this game makes me want to maul puppies and kittens and babies. it drives me up the god damn fucking wall. It's annoying.  It really is probably without a doubt the worst soundtrack on the NES. Even beating out the original 18 Black Box games.

This games controls rather poorly. Dr. Jekyll must be walking on molasses because the fucker is so god damn slow it's pathetic, WHICH really fucks up the game, because the guys who drop bombs are incredibly fast and the bombs explode pretty quickly, so you have to get Jekyll past them before they go kablooey. (I love it when things go Kablooey... sorry I just had to quote Duck Tales there), really your slow ass character is the biggest flaw in this game and will probably cause your hair to fall out (I'm blaming this game for my hair loss..)

I should also mention that you'd don't really have a weapon. That stick you carry around for whatever reason only works on one fucking enemy. the fucking bees. I don't know what the hell the game developers were smoking when they decided to make it so your only weapon will only hit one enemy. Oddly enough despite these flaws the game only becomes hard around level 6, but level 6 will cause you to kill your entire family, neighbours, and probably get sent to prison for life.

If it hasn't become obvious, I do not like the NES game, Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde, in fact I feel that it is one of the worst, if not THE worst game on the NES. It's annoying sounds, poor control, weapon that hits ONE FUCKING ENEMY and that fucking last level all combine to a very annoying affair.

Buy it or Skip it: Skip it for the love of god, Skip this fucking game.



I fucking love the Caped Crusader. I fucking love the old TV series. I fucking love the animated series. I really fucking love the comics. I loved the recent movies, hell I even really really really liked the Tim Burton movies, especially Returns, and of course I fucking love this game, based off the 1989 movie. Well sorta.I don't remember Batman fighting KGBeast and The Executioner and Firefly in the movie, it could have happened but I doubt it. Anyway even if it is only slightly based off the 1989 movie, I don't give a fuck because this game kicks some serious fucking ass.  So on to this review, which doesn't kick any ass.

The graphics are honestly some of the best on the NES. Everything is nice and bright and identifible. The animations of everything exploding is awesome. (And everything does explode. Even Batman himself. HOW COOL IS THAT?)  The sounds and music, just as awesome. EVERY SONG in this  game is fucking awesome and I would totally listen to any of them anytime. The play control, excellent. Everything about this game is excellent.

I've heard people complain about the challenge, but those people are fucking pussies who need to man up. This game is hard, yes, but it's the good kind of hard that even though it kicks your ass, you get right back up to playing it. YOU WANT to beat this game, unlike other hard games like Dr. Jekyll, which are just unfairly hard. This game is fair in its hardness. (ha i said hardness) and honestly the only really really hard part is the final boss battle with the Joker, and even he can be beaten with some practice. In other words, the game has a fair challenge.

Batman: The Video Game is an excellent addition to anyone's video game collection, pretty much everything about this game is insanely awesome, and it is definitely one of the BEST licensed games on the NES. Sunsoft made a great game here, and if you haven't played it. GET THE FUCK OFF THIS FUCKING BLOG AND PLAY IT YOU FUCKER.

Buy it or Skip it :  What do you think my advice on this purchasing this game would be?

Sunday, August 15, 2010


I must admit something. I do not like sports. I have never liked sports. Not as a child. Not now. Mostly because of Gym class. I know you are going "LOL. HE'S A FATTY". Yes. I am obese. Fat. LARDO, BUT it's not the major reason actually. I would have played, if anyone would play with me. I'm pretty sure we had a extra person in the class and I was chosen last for everything. LAST. mostly because most people didn't want to be seen with me, because I was the class loser. the outcast. the person no one liked. It's because of painful memories of gym class that I can't really watch sports. That and they are fucking boring as hell.


Baseball (what a original title!) was made in 1983 for the Famicom, and was brought over to the NES in 1985, making it one of the first NES titles to be released. one of the black box games, people on the internet seem to go wild over. There were 18 of them, and a lot of them sucked. So I don't really know why people on the internet freak out and go I MUST HAVE THEM WITH BOX AND MANUAL. WOOO, but that's a rant for another time.

Baseball is probably the worst of the original black box games, yes, it even out does 10 Yard Fight in terms of shittiness. Baseball somehow has uglier graphics and worse sound, and these graphics were fucking ugly for 1983. And the sound well I don't remember it being that bad, yeah I'm reviewing this game from memory, because I don't want to play this shitty ass  game again.

Well, the biggest problem with this game, is that your characters are so. god. damn. slow, and I don't want to wait an entire day for one guy to get a home run.

I'm tired of talking about this stupid game, if you want to play a baseball game, don't play this. every other game is probably better. I say probably, because I haven't bothered to play Bo Jackson Baseball or Tony Hawks Baseball or  Roger Clemens Baseball or one of the 8,000 Bases Loaded games.

Buy it or Skip it: Skip it. Not worth your time, even if you can probably find it for $2.


Well, this isn't going to be a very long post. I'm just saying this is going to be a blog where I talk about anything related to the Nintendo Entertainment System!

see. told ya it wasn't gonna be long!