Sunday, January 16, 2011
First off I will be dedicating this review to Michael "Groxx" Elohim Martin-Banks Jr, who is possibly the biggest fan ever of the game I will be talking about today. Hell he even made a damn shrine to it on his website. A SHRINE TO JAWS. So I dedicate this rather terrible review to him and I hope that somehow he enjoys it probably got hit in the head a few times before reading my blog... that's what I assume happens to the few people who read this and say they like this stuff... either way, enough of my terrible attempt at comedy, as it's time to review this NES game Jaws.
First I should mention that I enjoyed Jaws, I haven't seen it since I was a kid but I really liked it. Hell I even liked Jaws 2, which was pretty much the exact same movie as the original. And Jaws 3. I mean that one had Chappy from Iron Eagle in it! IRON EAGLE! okay, Iron Eagle kinda sucked but still Louie Gossett Jr. owns! However Jaws for the NES is not based on any of those movies, so sadly we won't get to play as Richard Dreyfuss, Roy Schneider or Louie Gossett today... as this game is based around the 1987 film Jaws The Revenge, which is the only one in the series that I did not like, and I think it's a very bad, poorly made, annoyingly stupid movie... and that's another thing this game got wrong you can't even play as Michael Caine either! Damn you Jaws for the NES!
As you can tell from the above paragraph I don't really want to talk about Jaws for the NES, as I don't really like Jaws for the NES. I know it's weird, I don't like one of the few LJN games people actually don't hate, it's strange isn't it... The only person on the internet who willingly sticks up for LJN doesn't like one of the games people actually kinda like that they made. Weird stuff, it's not to say I think Jaws is a complete pile of shit, it's just not very good. For mostly one reason, there's really not much to do in Jaws, not enough to do in the game, seriously, this game is not only one of the easiest games on the NES, but one of the shortest, there are youtube videos of people beating this game in 6 minutes. I don't know of any other game that can be beaten that easily or quickly. Not a single one. To put it frankly there's not enough meat to this game for it to be really all that spectacular.
To be fair to the game. Despite the kinda cruddy graphics, the music is decent, the controls are decent, it's not a poorly programmed game, I just wish their was more to do in it. Seriously, it's just very quick to beat this game, maybe if they added more to it I would have liked it more, as it stands now, Jaws is a game that you should play if you can't beat any other game you own. It'll make you feel better in that respect. Still I'd go out and give Jaws a shot as people seem to enjoy it alot, me I'm just kinda peeved the actions over before it even begins.