Friday, November 19, 2010

Metal Mech

You know I try to be very fair with my game reviews. I try to find something good about every game I review, except for like really shitty games like Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde or Dragon's Lair. There are a shit load of NES games I really like that no one else does. like for example, I'm a fan of Superman, Total Recall and Godzilla. Many people hate those games but I was able to find some enjoyment out of them. Not saying they will become my favorite games on the system, but I feel they are way too hated, shit they are all streets ahead of this pile of shit we are going to talk about today, and belive me, I don't got anything nice to say.


Metal Mech is a lot like the game Blaster Master if Blaster Master was a piece of shit. Metal Mech was made by Sculptured Software who I think made Virtual Bart which I spent hours of my life trying to beat as a kid, admittly I liked Virtual Bart then but I haven't played it since so I have no idea how it holds up, but I know this game is a pile of shit, but getting back to my original point, this game is a lot like Blaster Master, I even refer to it as the ghetto Blaster Master. Remember how you could get out of your ship in Blaster Master and go around right? Same thing here (I don't think theres any overhead parts in Metal Mech, but I can't stand playing this piss poor pile of shit for very long) except instead of being in a cool underground cave of sorts fulled with neat monsters and shit, you get a very uninteresting city look, and everything looks drab and bored like they tried to rush this game out.


Another problem is the control really sucks, where as controlling the guy and his tank in Blaster Master was easy. It's annoying here. The Mech jumps really awkwardly and it's weapons cant shoot anyone under it. The guy sometimes gets stuck on fucking ladders, it all feels like this game was barely finished. The music is very uh not memorable, seriously I just played this game minutes ago. MINUTES. not hours, years, months, days or whatever ago. MINUTES and I still do not remember the music and I'm not even going to bother to check to see if the game even HAD any because I don't want to play that game again.

I've beaten Superman and Total Recall because somehow I saw good in those games, maybe I'm crazy I don't know but I don't hate those games. I think they honestly did some good things in both of them. Metal Mech did nothing good, has no charm, isn't interesting. It's just a boring ugly annoying video game that is better left forgotton. Like my Legends of the Diamond "review".

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