I don't really feel like talking about the third part of the Spider Man story, or talking about the next game I mean to review (it's a baseball game... and I'm dreading playing it because I hate even the best sports games.) so I decided why not just discuss the ads from the old comic books I loved so much as a child. Maybe I was just a weird child but I really liked a lot of the old ads, they were unique and colorful and very charming. Today I will now talk about a bunch of them and make sarcastic remarks about them because I've grown up to be a very bitter man.
Our first ad today is uhh... A team up with Spider Man and Captain Crunch...yeah... well not exactly a team up because the Captain has been kidnapped and this was a weird one because it contintuned from another ad where J. Jonah Jameson tells Peter Parker that Captain Crunch has gone missing (I never thought I'd say those words... but here we are!) and Spider Man has to go fight Sogmaster and the Soggies from the old Captain Crunch ads... but I didn't know that they were Captain's enemies until the creation of the internet, where people could learn some of the most pointless bullshit imaginable I thought they just created them for this one ad. Also I'm still pissed that this didn't have any conculsion, you didn't get to see Spidey pound the shit out of the Sogmaster. Also did anyone win that contest?
I don't think I ever saw anything related to Gumby except for that one short that was in one episode of Mystery Theatre 3000, but according to wikipedia Gumby ran for 255 episodes from 1955 to 1989, which is 34 goddamn years of a ugly claymation thing (like seriously what the fuck was Gumby supposed to be anyway?) and his horse. I'm still amazed they lasted that long, but yeah Gumby was popular in the 1950s why would you use him in a attempt to sell some random candies made by people I never heard. I seriously haven't heard of Brach's ever but those candies do look pretty good. I dunno maybe they are really famous in america, or were famous during the 1980s, but I still don't know why they fucking bothered with Gumby, why not I dunno anything else.
There were two versions of Lazer Tag. A version called Photon (which had it's own animated series and a series of novels) and a version just called Lazer Tag which was put out by Worlds of Wonder, who also made Teddy Ruxpin and helped Nintendo with the release of the NES during its first few years in North America and such. It's strange how they actually went out of business because they did create two of the more memorable things from the 1980s. Also despite owning this comic a decade after it came out when I was like 10, I really wanted Lazer Tag, but then again it would have gone to waste because I didn't really have any friends to play with, but damn that's a cool ad. Also it seems the WoW Lazer Tag also had a cartoon. What didn't have a fucking cartoon back then? They even had a goddamn cartoon about a fucking Rubix Cube (which I just may review if I can find an episode of)
Well, that's it really. I hope you enjoyed this trip down memory lane and had fun with this article that I literaly threw together in a few minutes, but I do plan to make a part 2 and a part 3 and a part 4 and so on and so on discussing the ads of by gone days, when I have no idea, but it'll be done.