Friday, November 19, 2010

Legends of the Diamond (who cares?)

Laser Invasion. Last Action Hero. Last Ninja. Last Starfighter. Life Force.
Legacy of the Wizard. Legend of Kage. Legendary Wings. Lemmings. Little League Baseball
Little Mermaid. Little Nemo. Little Ninja Brothers. Little Sampson. Lode Runner.
Lone Ranger. Loopz. Low G Man. Lunar Pool. These are all the games I own that start 
with the letter L. Every single one of them would have been a better choice (except 
for Little League Baseball) than today's game. Sadly I ended up picking Legends
of the Diamond for my alphabetical order review thing no one cares about. You see its 
hard to talk about a sports game period, even the best ones. It's goddamn impossible
when you don't even like the good sports games.
I don't know what it is but I never really cared for sports. Football, Hockey, 
Baseball, Soccer, Tennis, Basketball. You name it, I don't give a shit about it. I can
remember back to a fonder time when I was a but a wee child and we would have reading 
time at school. A full period where we just read a book of our choosing. Every other boy
would read a sports related novel written by some guy named Christopher 
Iforgothislastnameforfucksakeitwas18yearsago and I would be reading Tintin or Choose your Own
Adventure or this weird seires about a bunny who could talk because he was a lab testing animal 
(if you know what series I'm talking about I will give you a kings ransom to know its name.)
And I don't think I ever rented a single sports title, except for Super Punch Out when I was a kid.
Not one. I don't even want to play this game because I know for a goddamn fact that I'll be bored in 
about twenty seconds.
In fact, I refuse to play this game, and I'm going to say it's a piece of shit. There. 
Legends of the Diamond sucks ass. and yes I know the format for this review is 
screwed up, I don't care. Blame that piece of shit Legends of the Diamond. And I'm just going to say it 
RIGHT NOW, except for the Punch Out games and the original Baseball Stars, all other sports games suck shit 
and I hate them, yes that includes Blades of Steel, Ice Hockey and Tecmo Super Bowl. I'd rather eat a pile 
of dog shit than play even those games. God damn fuck shit.  
(Also despite the fact I didn't really like sports as a kid, one of my favorite movies ever is The Sandlot.. 
which revolves around baseball. I don't get me either.)

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