Thursday, December 30, 2010
Wizards & Warriors 2: IronSword
First off I must apologize to readers of this very crummy blog for lack of recent updates. I have no real reason for the lack of updates. I can't very well blame the lack of updates on my job (because I don't have one) or my social life (because again I don't have one) I just got a criminal case of BEING GODDAMN LAZY and didn't feel like talking about anything, well I can't very well talk about the Silent Night Deadly Night sequels now that it's after Christmas and I'm not really in the mood to try to watch the New Years related horror films tomorrow seeing as I have other things to do. No really, I actually do have other things to do! I also hope everyone who reads this terrible waste of space had a happy holidays. No matter what you celebrate I hope you had a damn good time doing it.
Now today's review is a present for a friend by the name of Damien "Beefy" Leroy Cappello Jr. who loves Wizards & Warriors more than he loves Jesus. So I hope you enjoy this review! Also I hope you get trampled by reindeer for making me play this terrible terrible game again, but first let's talk about Wizards & Warriors. Wizards & Warriors was first published in 1987 and was the first game in the trilogly. it was some of Rare Ltd's first work on a NES game. They would go on to make a ton of very popular and beloved NES games including Battletoads and uh... I forget what else. Still Wizards and Warriors was a pretty decent little title, sure you'd have to be a quadriplegic not to be able to beat it and a bunch of bugs. Wizards and Warriors III for the NES was also pretty good, although I haven't put in enough time to really give it a fair review. Wizards and Warriors X for the gameboy I never played and also I'm sure you caught on to the fact that I'm trying not to talk about Iron Sword because I really do not like this game. At all.
Ironsword was not programmed by Rare LTD. That is if Wikipedia is to be believed, because I'm too lazy to check up who really made this festering pile of dicks I will just say that Zippy Games (whoever the fuck they are) the company Wikipedia says is responsible really is responsible for this festering pile of assy awfulness. This game, this fucking shitty game wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the fact your god damn sword is fucking uesless and you have to jump right into the goddamn enemies like some kind of spazzy retard. Seriously, everythign else about this game is fine. The controls are decent, the graphics are good, the music by Mr. David Wise is great. it's just ruined by the stupid combat system. I don't remember the combat system in the original game being that stupid. Maybe it was. Who cares? No one except Damien C.
Wizards and Warriors the original game has a small cult following. Even Ironsword has a very small cult of supporters, however you never hear much about the other two games. Despite not being the greatest series of games I would have liked to have been able to play a Super Wizards and Warriors for the SNES. Alas things just didn't turn out that way. Also since every single person who reviews this stupid game has to make a comment about it, that is Fabio on the cover. Goodnight and don't play this game.