Tuesday, February 15, 2011

SMS Chronicles PART 1


Yes it's another one of my part ones that I will probably never make a second part to due to incredible laziness. However today will be an intresting treat, as I will  be looking at a few Sega Master System games! Yes! Exiciting! Games that aren't NES games...to be honest I've wanted to branch out more and review other game systems but I never thought I'd ever get to the Sega Master System... mostly because I do not even like this system too much. Still I decided why not give a few games a mini review, see how it goes with the audience I have of like 2 people. Anyway, most SMS games to me weren't fun, and that does include many of the Euro-only releases. They just never did what the NES did for me, and if we are talking about Sega, I'd rather play the Genesis any day, but that's for another time! On with the games!


Can we as gamers just admit that Alex Kidd was no good. Seriously? can we? the games were boring sluggish platformers that I never had a single ounce of fun with. Not one iota. Except for one of them! Which one I can't say, as I may plan to review it in the future, but it sure isn't this one. This game is just honestly boring and doesn't really do anything most NES platformers didn't do 1,000 times better. And really what the fuck was up with those shitty boss battles. Boss battles are some of the best parts of a game, and you go and have them play rock-paper-scissors. IF I WANTED TO PLAY THAT I'D GET SOMEONE TO PLAY IT WITH. FUCKING SHIT MAN. Anyway, I never liked this game from the first second I played it. Call me a NES fanboy all you want, but that still doesn't change my opinion on this game. It's ugly, it's boring and it sucks. I'd rather play fucking Total Recall over this game. Yeah, I went there!

This is another Sega Master System classic. Or at least I've heard it called a classic, and if this is the best this game system has to offer then I don't think I'll ever see what was so great about it. Psycho Fox is a ripoff of a really fucking shitty NES game called Kid Kool. I don't know how desperate SMS owners were to call this a good game but I'm pretty sure they were really desperate. This game blows, sure the graphics look way nicer than the NES counterpart Kid Kool, and such but you could make the nicest graphics in the entire world and if the rest of the game sucked, sorry you still fail. And this game fails for all the reasons Kid Kool fails which are too many to list right now so I'm just going to go with the biggest, really fucking shitty play control. I can never seem to control either character well. If you want the Kid Kool/Psycho Fox gameplay done right, go check out a game called Decap Attack for the Sega Genesis. That's what both of those shitty games COULD have been.


The Flinstones was a show I never cared for all that much. I'd watch it if it came on but I never cared all that much for it, still I can easily admit when a license I didn't like made good games. The Flintstones games for the NES, SNES and Genesis were very good very enjoyable platformers. This game is well not enjoyable in the least. Seriously the first level has you painting a goddamn wall. What next, cooking?!? I don't want to do that fucking shit in real life why the hell would I want to do it in a game. Sure the games for the other systems weren't totally true to the show, as the Flintstones didn't go on that many wacky adventures fighting dinosaurs and shit, but this game prooves that a fucking game based on what did happen on the show would have been fucking boring as shit. Seriously, a god damn painting stage. Get the fuck out of here with that shit. Jesus.


Well, I think I shall end this post with a positive. Donald Duck in Deep Duck Trouble, is probably not as good as any of the Disney titles for the NES, BUT is a title worth getting for your collection of games. Yes, this game is actually pretty fun, and a decent challenge for a Disney title. Not really hard but probably harder than the ones for the NES. Still I do have some problems with this game, well it's mainly just one problem. The music, it really kinda sucks. Seriously go pick up Rescue Rangers or Duck Tales for the NES and then come back and listen to the music from this one. there is a BIG fucking difference, but still the music isn't so bad that it hampers the gameplay which is your usual platformer shenanagins. It's not a perfect game, but it has some damn nice 8-bit graphics, some nice stages, it's fun, and it stars Donald Duck, my favorite Disney character. If you have a SMS I suggest getting this fine title.

I think if we keep on going with this. and by we I mean me, I shall keep a running score of what games I like and what I don't. so far its 3 to 1, that's not very good SMS! Not very good at all! (also if you have any recommendations for me, just post them in the comments section. If you want to castrate me for saying Alex Kidd or Psycho Fox or hell even that damn Flintstones game sucks, I wouldn't really bother. It's not like anyone is ever going to let me use my penis on them, so coming here and cutting it off wouldn't really do much. All I get to use that for is pissing, and that's it.)


  1. I don't like Psycho Fox one bit either. I know that there are a lot of SMS gamers that LOVE it, but I can't figure out why! Miracle World wasn't that bad at all, but the P/R/S thing does kinda bite.

    Here's some game recommendations: Cyborg Hunter, Kenseiden, Rastan, Zillion, Sagaia, The Ninja, Master of Darkness, and Ninja Gaiden. Those are some really good ones that come to my head right now. Of course, I'm sure you've already met the bastard that is ALF hehe

  2. I'm so sad the ALF game really sucks ass and is a weird mess of a game that I have no idea what to do in. I mean it's ALF. How can you screw it up?!?!

  3. They did get some real good games for the system, they're just few and far between, and usually so rare no one can afford them (i.e. Phantasy Star, Golden Axe Warrior, etc.)

    You should review stuff like Gauntlet, which is far superior to the NES version.

    Also, Europe got a SMS version of the Real Ghostbusters arcade game. :P

  4. "I mean it's ALF. How can you screw it up?!?!"

    By not allowing you to eat cats. Among other things, of course!