Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The Prom Night Mega Review Thing!

Well I'm bored and you know what that means! I start talking about pointless shit on this horribly uninteresting blog of mine! And if you can remember by the very subtle hint I left in the last entry I did... VERY subtle....if you cant tell I'm dragging this bad joke out.. I'm still amazed over 6,000 people have read something I wrote. I guess it's true, once you put something out on the internet someone will read it. Uh, but yes. I mentioned how I was going to review the Prom Night movie series in my last article and well don't say I don't give you what I say I'm going to give you. my articles may be poorly written shit that you can read in under a minute, but when I say I'm doing something I do it. So lets get this shit over with.

It seems most people really like Prom Night as it's a movie that gets a lot of press and most people consider to be a slasher classic... but not me! You see this movie is incredibly boring to me. tedious. uninteresting. And I think the only good parts were Leslie Nielsen, Jamie Lee Curtis, THAT SEXY ASS I JERKED OFF TOO WHEN I WAS 14 and the hilariously terrible song Prom Night. That's it, other than those things this movie is a very boring and uninteresting movie with a plot that was done by about six hundred other movies. And where as I'm actually just reviewing this movies based on memory because I'm too lazy to watch them again and I really should think through what I'm going to do on this blog but if I did that it would be too much work but what I'm getting at is that I actually remember things from the other movies and not a single scene from this one. Nada! You'd think a supposed slasher classic would stay with you even years later! but I don't remember one iota except there was a scene where some lady pulled her pants down and made me the happiest teenager ever! I give that ass a good rating of 8 and this movie a terrible rating of 3. Also it's weird that I enjoyed Paul Lynch's Humongous more than this movie, yet I don't think Humongous is half as well liked as this movie is.

I really like Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II... It's one of the only horror movies my mom recommended to me! And she not a fan of them! Or maybe she told me it was good to get me to rent it so I could have seven movies and we could go home! I used to rent seven movies for seven days at good ol' Allan's video. Sigh, I miss the days of video. They were beautiful, not like these cold soulless dvds! Anyway, Hello Mary Lou is full of crazy going ons! And tons of nudity. And if I recall correctly I think Mary Lou was pretty amusing herself! And attractive too! I can't lie. I like my ladies! Anyway, this movie was a lot more supernatural than the original movie or the fourth one which was a neat idea to do, and if I remember correctly they had the movie be pretty serious at times even if it was a little comical. Anyway, I really shouldn't review movies based on memories, but It's too late now! Anyway, I remember really enjoying this movie and the next ones too!

If I had to choose a favorite of these movies It would certainly be this one as it just doesn't even attempt to be a serious movie. It just goes hog wild and does all kinds of insane crazy shit. I really am sure they intented this to be a horror/comedy, if they didn't then they have no idea how to make a horror movie! At all! But I'm sure it wasnt meant to be the least bit serious because hell they had a guy get killed with an Ice Cream cone! No! I'm not joking! This continues the Mary Lou story (and is the last chapter of that story) This movie brings me back to the time I found this giant video store with thousands of movies I wanted to see and I probably rented them all... before giving up and using torrents because I'm a cheap cheap bastard. Either way, uh.. This movie is a goddamned hoot and is one of my favorites. I recommend it highly!

Now it goes back to being a semi serious slasher film, I wish we could have had another crazy film starring Mary Lou, but I guess they wanted to make a movie that has very little to do with Proms. At least the others took place at Prom or at a high school. This movie has a crazed priest killing some people in the wilderness. Maybe I'm just stupid but that doesn't really sound like it fits into a series called Prom Night... but despite it all I actually enjoyed this movie. It gave me enough entertainment value to give it a recommendation. Maybe I'm just very easy to please, I have no clue, but I liked this movie. It's pretty much the same as every other slasher movie from the period, but fuck it, I like slasher movies from the late 80s and early 90s. This isn't the best of the lot, but I think it's worth a watch if you enjoy these movies!

Yes. I'm also going to review the remake! It's a part of the series! And uh... I know the internet will explode and make me want to cry to my mother but I didn't really hate it. Well the internet would explode if anyone bothered to post on my blog calling me a piece of garbage for liking whatever stupid garbage I defended. Let me like that stupid garbage in peace! Either way, this is a rather nondescript slasher film from 2008. It was PG-13, but it still had enough entertainment value to amuse me. I should also admit that when I was a child I would enjoy staring at my walls so I've always been easily entertained as long as the pace keeps up I ain't got no problem with any stupid movie I watch. I don't care about bad acting, plotholes, or lack of gore. I just want an hour and 30 minutes of entertainment, and this movie gave it to me... even though I don't remember anything from it. Hey, I said I was entertained, not that it became one of my all time favorite films. Anyway, if you put a gun to my head and told me to pick a movie... the original or the remake... I'd pick the remake... yeah... and thats probably the only time I'd do that, except in the case of the Blob, but everyone likes that remake! It's weird how people don't mind remakes of the past but get so angry over remakes in the present. Oh well, maybe I just need to start getting angry over movies. Or maybe not.

No comments:

Post a Comment