Wednesday, January 11, 2012

RoboCop 3 (1993)

I'm pretty suer I've seen RoboCop 3... back when it came out on video (remember that?!? god I feel old) in 1993 (god that was almost 20 years ago. Damn) but my memory of such events is no longer with me... so who knows If I ever saw it or not. Anyway, public opinion of RoboCop 3 is not positive in the slightest... pretty much everyone who likes RoboCop thinks its the worst of the three... Maybe I should watch it and probably enjoy it to show the world that I truly do have the worst taste in motion pictures ever. I mean if I can enjoy Asylum of Terror than I can enjoy ANYTHING.

However we are not here to talk about movies today! We are here to discuss the NES game! Yes! RoboCop 3, like the previous two entries did infact get A NES game in the second last year of the NES's life. I do believe some of the BEST NES games were created in the last 4 years of the systems life, but RoboCop 3 is sure as hell not one of them. Now I'll start with the positives. The graphics are fine... although a bit drab, however I am glad they changed the sprite to make it look different than the previous game. RoboCop's sprite in the second game looked so incredibly derpy that it was funny. The music isn't really great but not terrible. It's pretty much the definition of passable. It won't make you go running out of your house screaming in abstract terror at how bad it is, but you won't be listening to it when you aren't playing the game.

To be fair, if it wasn't for this one problem, this game could be a tolerable, hell even fun little title. The problem I have with it is that the god damn jumping mechanics in this game are fucking horrendous. You seriously have to get to the edge of any platform to jump or you will fall and get the shit fucked right out of you. It's pretty god damn annoying which causes me to not want to play this game. Still I somehow beat this game because I have serious mental issues. That and I have nothing else better to do. Before I end out this review, I must say that this is a more enjoyable game than RoboCop 2... but if you honestly want a good RoboCop game, well I'd recommend the original game... which I did review a few months ago. Anyway, it feels good to be back talking about these games no one cares about... So expect to see more reviews in the upcoming days...


  1. The game sucks worse than the movie, which is saying a lot. It is pretty much a half-assed cash-in generic platformer.

    And the movie really is bad. Robocop 2 was at least so-bad-it's-great, but the third one is terrible with no redeeming qualities. Children, cyborg ninjas, and dead Lewis? Fuck that movie.

  2. I like how the girl riding on his shoulder is basically a toddler. Wasn't she like 10-12 in the movie? She had that cool laptop to hack ED209.

    The best part about the cyborg ninjas was that they introduced them as a single robo-ninja which kicked the shit out of Murphy. With no other direction for the movie, they then pulled 3 more ninja bots out of nowhere and had them fight Murphy as well. Not to mention that Peter Weller didn't even play Robocop in that one.

    But, by far, the best Robocop films were the awful miniseries some Canadians did in the early 2000s. "Robocop: Prime Directives" I think. They even had a black Robocop (Unit 002) with TWO Auto-9 pistols!

    I enjoyed them all :(