The Final Episode #2: Inspector Gadget (Gadget and the Red Rose - February 1st, 1986)

 The Final Episode #2: Inspector Gadget (Gadget and the Red Rose - February 1st, 1986)

Inspector Gadget was one of my favorite cartoons as a kid. I watched the absolute hell out of it. Like I don't want to even know how many times I watched every episode. It had to be at LEAST 50 times each. It was mostly because for the first season Nelvana, a Canadian corporation helped with the animation. So season 1 would be shown in Canada about 5820 times a day on several different channels. I still find the show to be very amusing. At least the first season. The stories of a dumbass cyborg (would you consider Gadget a cyborg?) with all kinds of well gadgets installed in his body and his niece and dog (who actually solve all the crimes) IS great fun to me!

As a kid I never knew there was a second season with 21 extra episodes... and I'm glad I never did because it would have been an incredible disappointment to me to have to watch these episodes. They aren't objectively the worst I've ever seen they just aren't as well animated, well voiced (several voice changes), have pointless new characters (we will get to him in a second) and are just not as enjoyable. Like everything was done worse for the second season which ran from 1985 to 1986.

I do remember the first time I ever saw a second season episode, it was years after I did find out there even was one... and I was excited to find said episode... I had heard from a now defunct website known as Jump the Shark (where people discuss when any random TV show Jumped the Shark) and several people within that site said the introduction of Corporal Capeman (pictured above) was when the show jumped the shark... and yeah I can't disagree with them on that. This fucker is completely useless and not funny in the slightest, just like everyone on that site said... thankfully Townsend Coleman who voiced him went on to do much better work in a lot of much better cartoons.

Anyway, this episode is really nothing to write home about. It involves Inspector Gadget actually creating a seemingly worthwhile invention (which is weird in itself because the guy is a moron, like it's the whole show!) and Dr. Claw finds out about it so he gets this old gangster out of retirement to stop Gadget's new invention with his old invention a Tommy Gun that shoots out rotten potatoes and yes the gangster has a potato pun name (it's Spuds Malone... they should have just went and called him O'Riely and had him be an Irish gangster or something), anyway this episode has Gadget chase after Brain who leads him to the real Spuds Malone and it's done in a pretty uninteresting manner. No real jokes or crazy hijinx really.

FINAL THOUGHTS: It's not going to be the worst thing I'll watch for this blog but honestly, I can't really write much more about this episode cuz it's boring, so I'll just reiterate they should have gotten more money for better animation, made some actual jokes (the gun Gadget makes runs on acidic Sour Cream and when it hits Chief Quimby he goes "Needs chives, Gadget" which WAS pretty funny I thought.. but the rest of the episode wasn't) and not had made that stupid fucking Corporal Capeman at all.

The Final Episode #1: Captain Planet and the Planeteers (101 Mutations - May 11, 1996)

 The Final Episode #1: Captain Planet, 101 Mutations (May 11, 1996)

Captain Planet was created by Ted Turner in 1990... an environmentalist superhero! I must say that as a kid I quite liked this show. I thought the heroes were a bunch of likable scallywags and that the villains were incredibly entertaining! and I'm glad to say that I still do! Being positive rules!

Anyway, Captain Planet ran from September 15, 1990 to May 11, 1996 for a 6 season run... I don't think I was watching during the last season because well, I found out that Captain Planet has TWO theme songs. For the final season they came out with a new theme song and it is incredibly bad. like painfully bad. I don't even know where to begin to describe it so I will link to a youtube video of it here. It will change your life, for the worse.

CAPTAIN PLANET SEASON 6 THEME CLICK AT YOUR OWN PERIL

Hopefully you haven't gouged out your eyes and can read the rest of my writing (you will probably wish you had gouged your eyes out after reading this!) We can finally get into dicussing the Final Episode of Captain Planet intitled 101 Mutations.

If you couldn't tell by that title, 101 Mutations is about Dogs! Puppy mills in fact! That's right the eco-villains (which is what they were called in the show) finally stop trying to destroy the entire planet and just try to make some money via some cruel means. Dr. Blight is the eco villain of today.

Who in the first three seasons was voiced by Meg Ryan! Yep! Ted Turner threw his weight around at the beginning of the show... then he said okay to that terrible theme song (no I will never get over it. Stop asking)

The episode starts up with Dr. Blight talking to MAL about her evil Puppy Mill scheme! MAL in the later seasons was voiced by Tim Curry! always a pleasure to hear that angelic voice of his! I like exclamation points! It then turns over to Wheeler's 10 year old couisin Joey mourning his dog Skippy at a funeral (yes a very jolly point of the episode) and Wheeler decides to bring him to get a new dog. I know that 1.) he means well and 2.) they have to get the episode on the way but who the hell decides yeah I'll go get them a NEW dog RIGHT after the old one dies. Dick move, Wheeler.

Joey then finds out where the Pet Store is getting their dogs from... DR. BLIGHTS EVIL FARM OF DEATH. No it's called Puppy by the MILLions... that's a pretty good name for something as awful as a puppy mill. Anyway he goes there, gets captured, meets a new dog friend (and befriends Dr. Blights evil dogs!) He gives them chocolate. I guess these are dogs that can have chocolate, because he gives them a lot. 

The Planeteers then find a Humane Society guy working under cover in another puppy mill (Jesus a lot of them in this one area) AND they come across Dr. Blights puppy mill and of course stop her plot. (I don't really want to end up discussing EVERY second of these episodes. I do want you all to go and check them out.) 

FINAL THOUGHTS: This was actually a pretty fun episode. Lots of nice back and foths between the charters. The bad guys are incredibly deliciously, I don't give a shit, EVIL, and it was a lot of fun to watch. It didn't end with a big epic 3 parter where all the villains come together and bring back Captain Pollution or anything but I dunno if every show needs that. This was just a regular old run of the mill adventure for the Planeteers. I kinda like how that happens sometimes (mostly because they didn't know this was the final season, probably.) Anyway, I'd check this one out!

Freaky (2020

 

Woah! Two actual updates in one day (let's be real the Disney post thing isn't an update) I don't think I ever did that but I figure from now on whenever I watch a movie I'll blab my thoughts about it here so this blog will be a directionless mess where I just talk about whatever the hell I want too. Anyway, I had heard about this movie in September I believe from some upcoming horror movies site and I thought it was a grand old idea.

You know Freaky Friday (and Vice Versa, and Like Father Like Son, and 18 Again and Clearly Attempting to Make the Word Count On this Review Higher) is a movie about a body swap but it's a WILD COMEDY OF ERRORS AND ANTICS, well this movie is a body swap movie that's a horror film! Well, with lots of comedy in it (one thing I like about horror is how well it can mesh with other genres) and I have a feeling if the guy who didn't do the Happy Death Day movies this movie probably wouldn't work as well but I probably wouldnt have watched it if he didnt because those Happy Death Day movies were great.

The plot is the Blissville Butcher (played by Vince Vaughn) is out hunting and killing people and steals a dagger from some his victims. This is the powerful macguffin these movies usually have, and he uses it on poor ol' Millie, a nerdy weirdo in High School who's Mother doesn't want her to leave home because her Dad died a year ago. The Blissville Butcher stabs her and BLAMMO we get them both changing bodies, and the race is on to stab The Butcher as Millie before 24 hours are up! 

You get what you want from a horror comedy which is some neat scares and some wild ass murder scenes! and also laughs! Millies gay friend is literally from 1987 but I don't care because he was the greatest character in this film. Everyone in the film does a really terrific job at the acting thing and the pace moves at a good speed which is what you want from a popcorn horror/comedy like this.

I don't think its worth rushing out to see because uh of the whole pandemic thing but dang when it comes to video you should give this a watch. Recommended!

Talkin' About The Disney Afternoon

 

So I'm crazy and I feel like doing this among many other things because I waste my entire day on the internet and instead I should waste it watching stuff......It's still a waste but at least something maybe sortof was accomplished... more so than just yelling at twits on the internet. I will never stop being angry at how the internet went from a fun thing to a thing thats terrible, but I will at least try to make fun content instead of being angry at everything. like Twitter users.

This is going to be a multi part thing where I talk about every show on the Disney Afternoon. Including the Wuzzles because I want to cut off the one weirdo who might find this and go "AHEM THE WUZZLES WAS NOT ON THE DISNEY AFTERNOON YOU JUST MADE ME SO ANGRY I SHIT MY PANTS" If I actually finish this we might talk about One Saturday Morning and some newer stuff!!

Here's a list of cartoons I will end up discussing like the cool guy I am:

The Wuzzles

Disney's Adventures of the Gummi Bears

DuckTales

The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

Chip N Dale Rescue Rangers

TaleSpin

Darkwing Duck

Goof Troop

The Little Mermaid

Raw Toonage

Bonkers

Marsupoilami

Aladdin

Gargoyles

The Shnookums and Meat Funny Cartoon Show

Timon and Pumbaa

Quack Pack

Mighty Ducks The Animated Series

So expect the first part of Reviewing Every Disney TV Cartoon Sorta Kinda Maybe to emerge from my head sometime in the next few days.

Some Thoughts on The First Two Dead Rising Games...

 Well, I actually am doing it! HOLY MOLY! That's right after 5 years I've finally felt like I want to talk about stupid pointless horse shit again. It sure beats using Twitter that's for sure. Anyway expect discussions on just about every thing I enjoy coming right at your face! And hopefully this time I'll keep at it because even if no one ever comments it's still fun and thats something I haven't had on the internet in quite some time, yet I use the internet too much. Weird how that works huh?

Anyway enough pointless horse shit about my feelings on the internet, maybe I'll do a whole article on that later on but I felt that since this mostly started as a video game blog (mostly for old NES games I was playing) I felt I should talk about the games I've been playing... which are the first two  Dead Rising games. I had heard of these over the past 14 years but back then I was only playing NES games and nothing else really because only I would want to beat shitty games like Predator or whatever instead of playing good games.

Dead Rising is a zombie action game which is vastly different than the Resident Evil games (I also finally played parts 2 and 3 thanks to the remakes that came out recently) These games are more about action and comedy then really trying to use zombies to scare the pants off you. Anyway in the first game you play as Frank West trying to figure out what started the whole zombie thing. 

I like a lot of stuff about this game, smashing zombies is satisfying as hell, the game has a weird uniqueness comedy vibe to it, all kinds of weird shit in it. Weird bosses, weird people to save, hell you can even crossdress, and the plot is interesting enough for me to go through it several times trying to get to level 50 and get as many achievements as I can (I don't do achievements very well because I get lazy after beating a game) The only thing I really don't like is that the overtime mode ramps up the difficulty and I think that takes a lot away from the charm of the game. I dunno.

Anyway I have beaten Dead Rising but I'm still working on Dead Rising 2 but I can already say that in my mind it's the better game by far, even if some things I don't like. A lot of Dead Rising is saving people and the survivor A.I. is way better in this game than it was in the first game but that's just my feelings on the matter. Smashing Zombies faces in still feels as good and the bosses are just as silly as before. The only thing I really don't like is that the Zombrex thing just feels tacked on, like you gotta stop whatever your doing to run back to give the little girl her Zombrex. I dunno, I'm just not a fan of it. The game also feels like you get extra time to save people and fight bosses without losing out on the case file stuff.

Anyway I don't know If I'll ever play part 3 because I'm very lazy and I don't want to try to go looking for an X-Box 360 that works so I can play it. I might play part 4 because I do enjoy that rascal Frank West, but it feels both of those games dropped a lot of the comedy parts of the first two which is what brought a lot of fun to them, but I don't know if they end up being bad games just because of that. Uh.. yeah thanks for reading this boring horse shit about some old games and maybe if your good I'll write something interesting or funny.

 I'M BACK!

I'll start reviewing stuff again soon.

P.S. eat my dick, Portnoyd.